Coming Home to Love

Wanting to give her a greater sense of safety I put another box on the high shelves in the garage. This became her night sleeping quarters. I watched her over a few months gain weight and grow back her hair with a lovely shine.

As I was getting to know Princess we were looking for a new home ourselves. When one came up and we went to have a look, as I got out of the car the first thing I thought of was Princess and how she would

go here.

My heart ached that day and I found my mind wandering into thinking about Princess and who would look after her when we moved. I needed clarity and so I intuitively contacted an animal communicator that I found online, Faye.

You see, I was not sure what to do with Princess. Ella (our beloved dog companion) was not taking to her so it made the idea of taking Princess with us impossible.

I also wasn’t sure what she wanted, whether this street was her home and uprooting her would not be right. There were also some behaviours that I was concerned about.

Faye and I met on zoom. She began by speaking about “Blackie”, what I originally named her. She proceeded to check with me if she had a good connection with Blackie not knowing anything about her, just having a photo. What she said was so exacting.

What I found out is that she has been on the streets most of her life. She had been kicked by people, she did not like men for this reason and this is why she would go to bite my feet when I wore my big slippers. She had a hard life. She felt unwanted. She wanted to have a home, she wanted to be inside. And she wanted to be with us. When I heard this I felt relief.

She also told me she was not keen on her name Blackie, hence the renaming.

Faye walked me through steps on how to bring Ella and Princess together under the same roof. She also talked me through how to help Princess trust again and move through the old trauma, how to be with her, talk to her, giving me insight into her behaviours so I could help her heal.

It has been a privilege to work with Princess. She teaches me so much. She is very psychic, she is talkative, with many different flavours of expression. Her nature is sweet under the years of hardship and she is learning to trust. Well I am earning her trust day by day.

The gift for me is I love nurturing. I love helping others feel safe and have a new experience of what life can be for them. In my work Sacred She Wisdom, I help women befriend the street cat’s in themselves and welcome them into the circle of love that they are. Nothing gives me more joy, fulfilment and satisfaction than witnessing someone come home to themselves, belong to themselves and feel more self-existing, self governing and self sovereign.

Princess reminds me of how each of us wants to be wanted, to belong, to have a place and space in the world and to feel home.

This does not come easy to all of us. Some parts of us spend some time on the dark streets of our lives rather than at home inside by the warm fire. Like Princess experienced it can be tough on the streets, you learn to survive, forget about thriving. And then you come across kindness, an embrace of generous spirit. Seen perhaps for the first time and fed nourishment. Given a place to rest out of the cold. Transforming from outsider to insider, apart to being part of the whole. Welcomed into this circle of love.

Healing trauma however big or small, closing the divide between and knitting an old wound's two sides together takes time, patience and lots of kindness.

When things don’t seem to be moving, we need to step back, pause, check in and be with what is presenting. Give it space to express without judging. Judgement can close down the expression of true feeling. So we watch our judgments and don’t judge ourselves for judging. For that is all they are, that is part of the role the mind plays.

When Princess went to bite my feet I originally panicked and pulled my foot away quickly. She would run off and then look at me from a distance. I would say No in a stern voice. Faye taught me when I pull my foot away to slow it down and bring my foot back so Princess can see it. She was used to being kicked which would mean a foot there and then suddenly gone. So I bring my foot back in, talk to her sweetly and encourage her to come closer.

As someone begins to feel safer and more comfortable trauma unravels. It begins to move. It can look neurotic. This space to let it unwind is important. Holding that space in softness, in kindness with a gentle approach.

Some talk about ‘tough love’ being the way and may be for some this works well. Speaking from experience love is love, it can’t be made tough. It is honest, it is present, it is compassionate, it is nurturing, it is life giving, it is safe, it is gentle, it is connecting, it is also fierce or firm because it looks you in the eye and shows you your reflection. Love is whole, it is complete. It allows vulnerability, it allows mistakes, flaws and bumbling. It is forgiving, pliable, malleable and understanding.

Love is love.

It can’t be anything else.

But love.

And this is the miracle, this is the healer, this is the ‘sweet’ in the ‘home sweet home’.

To be able to discern what is coming from love or not requires us to FEEL. Feeling connection is vital for our discernment. When something does not come from love it feels like confusion, separation, isolation, disconnect, over controlling, punishing, diminishing, fear injecting. When something comes from love it feels opening, expanding, inspiring, uplifting, it can be shocking in a way that awakens you, connecting, beauty, community, coming together and understanding.

Strengthening our innate muscle of discernment takes daily practice of being aware and noticing how something, an experience, an interaction, a relationship feels to you. Notice these feelings and let them lead you to deeper LOVE.

Princess stopped me in my tracks one morning when I was walking. Two amber eyes peering out from the darkness a shrub was providing. Two unblinking, honest and innocent windows I looked through and recognised. In that moment I saw myself in her and her in me.

Note - if you would like help with an animal I recommend

Faye Fletcher (animal communicator)

faye@animalspeak.com.au